Ay, No me gusta!
by Vanamo
Summary: There is a problem in the Camteen household! Remy doesn't want Mexican for Cinco de Mayo! Just a little random fluff.


This was inspired by a chat with SuspenderLove about how to torture my spanish teacher lol XD So, with it being a semi-holiday, why not write a fluffy oneshot? ¡Aaaarriba!!! :D (yes, I'm a dork. Just enjoy it.)

* * *

Cameron was in a bad mood. It was Cinco de Mayo and Remy didn't want Mexican.

"The last time I checked, we weren't Mexican. Explain why we should celebrate it," Remy answered dully, flipping the channels.

"Hey, I happen to have Mexican ancestors," Cameron said defensively, adjusting her feet under her while Remy reclined on the couch next to her. She looked like a couch potato tonight.

Remy raised a bored eyebrow. "Ok, maybe your great great grandmother had a third cousin whose niece twice removed was Mexican. It doesn't mean we're breaking out the maracas," she muttered.

"I'm not asking for a fiesta here," Cameron clarified, beginning to get annoyed, "All I want is fajitas, some tortilla chips and salsa. Is that so hard?"

"Yes!" Remy said, throwing down the remote in annoyance. "I'm not going to drive through traffic and wait twenty minutes for our food while you get to relax and watch Glee."

"Cinco de Mayo is an excuse to eat spicy food and party, not get drunk," Cameron said.

Remy just smirked and shook her head and the first reply that popped in her head. "Do you even know what you're celebrating today?"

"Of course, the battle for Mexican independence from the Spanish in 18…something," the blonde said, blushing sheepishly.

"Wrong," Remy said lightly, "Mexican Independence Day is September 16th, and it was 1810. Cinco de Mayo celebrates the victory against the _French _at the Battle of Puebla in 1862."

Cameron gawked at her. "How the hell do you know all that?"

"Because I'm awesome?" Remy tried.

"Nice try," Cameron said. "Really, why are you a library with feet?"

"I watch Jeopardy," the brunette deadpanned. "But the only Latin American we should be celebrating is August 16th, 1954."

"Um, why?" the older doctor asked, quite confused.

"San Juan, Puetro Rico, the birth of the piña colada," Remy explained with a suave grin.

Cameron just rolled her eyes. "Just the fact that you know the birthday of a drink but forget to tape Bones on DVR makes me want alcohol."

"That comes with the whole dating/living with me thing. You go a little bit crazy," Remy explained with amusement. "Unfortunately I don't have the mix to make one."

Cameron smiled and planted a chaste kiss on her cheek, wrapping her arms around Remy's right one and leaning on her shoulder. Remy was mildly surprised but relaxed into it.

"So…will you go get Mexican?"

"For the last time, no!"

"Why _not?"_

"Allison, I love you. Do not make me storm out on Cinco de Mayo, it would be incredibly undramatic."

"Is that even a word?"

"I don't know. My point is let's just order Chinese or something," Remy said.

"Why won't you just indulge me? Don't you like Mexican? Comida Mexicana?" Cameron asked playfully.

Remy glared at her. "One more word in spanglish and you'll have to scavenge the fridge."

"You didn't answer me," Cameron pointed out. "You don't like Mexican?"

"Hate it," Remy said casually.

"Why?"

"I just do."

"That's not an answer," Cameron said.

Remy sighed. "Drop it please?" she asked, unexpectedly desperate sounding.

Cameron studied her for a moment before turning so she was against the arm of the sofa, facing Remy. She didn't say anything.

Remy closed her eyes. "High school Spanish class. The seniors thought it would be funny to lock all the freshmen in the room, blast Mariachi music over the loudspeaker, and throw in balloons filled with salsa from the window. They also brought in a Chihuahua."

Cameron pursed her lips together as her girlfriend spoke, recounting her own high school mishaps. Then she burst out into laughter.

Remy jumped at the sudden outburst. "What?" she asked.

"You – ah, salsa! I'm sorry but just the vision," Cameron rolled her hands to try and convey her meaning. "You would have made America's Funniest Home Videos."

"Oh my god," Remy mumbled, "I hate you."

"Who wouldn't pay to see you covered in salsa?" Cameron questioned, wiping away the tears from her giggles. A wonderful idea crossed her mind. She stood up.

Remy's eyes went wide. "Allison!" she called warningly, craning her neck as the blonde went into the kitchen.

Cameron emerged with a container of salsa, which she just realized only she ate, and a spoon. "Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way," she said with a maniacal grin.

"Which would be the hard way? When I give you a toothbrush to clean up the mess you're about to make?" Remy challenged, motioning to the clean, carpeted apartment.

"No, the hard way would be you running," Cameron answered, taking a large scoop. "Now just hold still and we'll make you love Mexican!"

"Allison…" the younger doctor warned again. "Don't do this."

"Remy, this will all work out fine if you just do what I say," Cameron told her.

Remy shook her head, gulping as Cameron kept approaching steadily. She was almost right in front of her. She closed her eyes and then -

The spoon of salsa was slid into her mouth like she was a five year old. An overload of tomatoes, peppers, onions, and spices met her tongue. A tortilla chip was placed at her lips. "Now bite," Cameron commanded simply. Remy did as she was told and chewed, grimacing and clearly uncomfortable. She swallowed and looked uneasily at Cameron through one eye.

"Now," Cameron said, "was that so bad?"

Remy nodded her head up and down quickly, clasping a hand over her mouth. "Remy?" Before Cameron realized it, the brunette had torn past her and towards the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Cameron asked the young woman, leaning shakily over the toilet.

"I'm allergic to jalapeños," Remy mumbled. Those damn jalapeños were always in salsa.

Cameron felt a large pang of guilt. She definitely hadn't meant to make Remy sick. "And you couldn't tell me this why?" she asked, crouching to her level and rubbing her back.

Remy shrugged. "I thought you'd drop it after the Spanish class story. But you're too stubborn," she said with sarcasm. She wouldn't say it out loud, but she didn't like appearing weak even if it was something stupid and uncontrollable like an allergy.

Cameron sighed. "Well if you weren't so stubborn, maybe it'd wear off of me."

Remy rolled her eyes feebly. "Just order the damn Chinese?"

"Fine. Happy Cinco de Mayo," Cameron said in effort to cheer her up.

"Feliz, Allison. Feliz Cinco de Mayo."


End file.
